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Write me a cover letter. Write me a really, really bad cover letter. Just make it plausible, and post it in a few days when I put up notice. Winner as chosen by be (in the US and Canada only) will get a free paperback copy of any of Dave Freer's books written solo or in collaboration. All entries will be used on my LJ and other places as an example of how not too. Simply post the cover letter in comments and you're entered. Contest open to all adults and children with parental permission.
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From:
no subject
I am twenty-seven years old and I have always wanted to write a book. Now that I have disvoverd your wonderful blog, I have been inspired. I have the outlines for a five book trilogy, spanning twohundred years of a star-spanning empire's death throws, from the last True Queen to her illegitimate grandson who will lead his people from the ashes of their former empire to a new world and civilization, with the help of energy beings who make stargates.
I think this will be the breakout hit of 2010, and hope to find an agent who will get good movie deals. Please respond soon.
Love, New Steffan King, Esquire.
From:
no subject
Oh, bah, "in a few days." Apparently I'm getting a good start with Cannot Follow Directions today! Ah, well. Screen it, delete it, whatever.No, wait, Cannot Follow Directions... It's perfect! I meant to do that! >_>
From:
no subject
When I was at Odyssey an agent showed us some examples of bad cover letters she had gotten (with the names removed, of course). It was pretty scary.
From:
no subject
"Crash!"
"Captain! The pirates are boarding!"
Thus begins my sizzling Space Scouts Adventure series.
I started this series as a teenager, and have recently revised it to reflect modern adult interests. As the ill-fated crew of Star Scout Team 59 are captured by Alien Pirates and sold into slavery on an Alien World, I explored their natural reactions and human relations both within their group and with the Alien race, the Grebox. As the Team studies the Alien Civilization from the inside, they realize that this decadent culture reflects modern human values, and only by reawakening the moral underpinnings of the Aliens can they ever hope to return home.
But don't think that this is a grim and dark novel of piracy and cruelty. The Story is sprinkled throughout with humorous bits, like when the Macho Captain Hannessy realizes that the voluptuous Alien Grebox are all males.
I used a lot of visual descriptions, but passed lightly over the details of the lesbian relationship between Navigator Vivian Nightshade and Scarlet D'Lamoure, but I could put in details if you feel it's important, given their crucial role in connecting emotionally and morally with the Alien Grebox.
Thanks Awfully for representing my Work.
Petra Hoff
(That's a pen name, so it will be shelved in the front of the SF section.)
From:
no subject
I should send a copy of my first cover letter... it was THAT bad.
Thankfully, Toni thought it was a joke... which of course it was.
Honest.
From:
Not to much time. I'm still working on that homonym poetic novel.
i have writed a fine master piece of science horror! I shall hope you like it well. In my novel I have made the most fantaskic story it is grate. We hope you can like it. Here is a sample
"As he thrust his quavering blade into the unyeilding flesh he felt a burning power and smote the foul beast. In it's death throws the fare maiden fell and he catches her quickly. He takes his newly freed bride to his starship their to roam the heavens looking for fame and fortune."
As you can see all turns out well for the mighty hero. I have already finished this trilogy so it's all ready to go. There are two more books. I've attached all of them as a zip. The password will be mailed to you seperately to unlock the secrets of my books.
Have a grate day.
Ambrosius Aloysis (a pen name so I will be at the begginning).
From:
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From:
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http://www.di2.nu/200609/09.htm
From:
no subject