A little experiment Edit: Update at bottom

[onyxhawke]

It’s official. I’ve completely lost my mind. Okay, okay so I actually was born without one (Thanks Mom!), but this is proof I need a bit of help. I’ve decided to do two experiments at once. One, is to see how much slush I can go through in one twenty four hour period without killing myself or running away from this business entirely. And Two, to see how far and wide the internet can carry this in just a few days.

So, on Monday May 28th 2007 I will be read as much slush as I can. In order to make this effective, I’ll need much more slush. Right now, I just don’t have enough to make this part entertaining for me. So, if you have something to submit, send it, if you know someone else who has something, make them send it. The email address will go active sometime Friday the 24th during the day. And stay open until about 8 am on May 28th. Each submission will get an auto response from my website; keep this as your receipt.

As enticement, every single submission received during this period is guaranteed to get at least one chapter read and critiqued. If, and only if it follows the complete submission guidelines as described on my website; http://www.onyxhawke.com , and isn’t bad enough to make Baby Cthulhu cry.

How it works:

You send.
I read.
In the pursuit of fairness, if after chapter one I am still interested in reading more I will send you an email that will say, “Still reading after one, final decision later” or something similar.

Obviously, if this gets a big response I will not get to everyone Monday, but each qualified submission will still get the one chapter critique, minimum. If you decide you’d rather use the normal submission box, please put “MM” as the code at the end of subject line.

Either way, good luck and in honor of my obvious love of pain, I’ve dubbed this little experiment “Masochism Monday”


Masochism Monday submission box: (mm@onyxhawke.com)

Mike

*****

Edit Begins:

Well, apparently i can't read a calender when its after midnight the above inbox does indeed go active on Friday morning and will stay open until Monday morning, but to accommodate travelers, on Thursday the 24th it will go active for about two hours starting at 7:30am ET.

****
Edit ends

Comments

MM

[matapam.livejournal.com]

Thirty. I'm putting my money on total cross-eyed mental meltdown at the thirtith manuscript.

I just might scrape up a couple, just to make sure you have enough. ;)

Re: MM

[onyxhawke.livejournal.com]

This is a departure. All of my clients think I'm stark raving, lock him in a padded room, mad *now*.

Re: MM

[matapam.livejournal.com]

But you're still walking and talking. There's still room for improvement.

[jenwrites.livejournal.com]

If we've already submitted a novel to you and haven't heard back yet, should we resub to that address if we'd like to participate? Of course, the trick will be figuring out how to get that submission to you from WisCon. Hmm...

[onyxhawke.livejournal.com]

Yours is very near the top and I'll get to it in the next day or five. So resubmitting is probably pointless.



The answer to sending from else where would be to upload the attachment to a webmail account, prewrite the cover letter, and save as a draft.borrowing a computer to login and send shouldn't be to hard.

[jenwrites.livejournal.com]

Ah, excellent.

And I'd been thinking of copying everything onto a memory stick to bring with me, but I was struck with a sudden fear that none of the public internet terminals would have USB ports, or worse, that they'd all be Macs. Plus, of course, there's the whole "finding 5 spare minutes at WisCon" problem.

[onyxhawke.livejournal.com]

Try around 3 am, most parties lull then, if the don't just plain end between then and five.

[jenwrites.livejournal.com]

The only time I'm awake at 3 am is when the cats make a crashing sound, and I'm not packing them, because they'd just poop all over my suitcase ;)

Saw this at sfandf_writers

[cirith-ungol.livejournal.com]

Just to clarify, the email address goes live on Friday? Or on the 24th, which is Thursday? Not meaning to be anal-retentive, but I know there's a large number of Internet users who would complain if they got it bounced back.

Of course, that's probably the kind of person that would make Baby Cthulhu cry.

Re: Saw this at sfandf_writers

[onyxhawke.livejournal.com]

See edit.

[annechen67.livejournal.com]

Feh, archangelbeth posted a link, but I'm afraid my slush is rather more grime than snow.

Good Luck!

[drakkenfyre.livejournal.com]

Not enough slush? I wish I had your problems. You should see my living room floor. :)

[onyxhawke.livejournal.com]

Stop letting the cats play with the ICEE machine.

[cathain.livejournal.com]

OK I can't find this on the FAQ at your website or anywhere else. Do you take poetry or just prose fiction?

[onyxhawke.livejournal.com]

I am an uncouth, barely lettered barbarian, poetry is beyond my ken. Well, except maybe limericks; There once was a man from Nantucket...


More seriously, submit them to someone who groks poetry.

[j-cheney.livejournal.com]

Busy, busy, busy this month, so I may not be organized to get it done on time, but I did have a thought....

If I have a novel that is currently shopped out (to the Baen's slush pile...the submission one, not the Bar ones) would you balk at looking at it?

[onyxhawke.livejournal.com]

Hmm, i thought i'd answered you.

Yes i will.

[j-cheney.livejournal.com]

I may try to get it in, though...may, cause I'm running around crazy!

[savagegrace.livejournal.com]

Do you accept short story collections?

[onyxhawke.livejournal.com]

Nope.

[tharain.livejournal.com]

Good afternoon. One of my F-list folks sent me this link.

I wanted to clarify something about submissions, though I'm fairly sure what you mean. Do you want the synopsis in the actual body of the email itself, or would you prefer it attached? I'm believe it's the first, but I wanted to be sure.

Thanks.

By the way, I can't decide if you're incredibly brave, incredibly bored, or just plain crazy. But thanks for the opportunity!

[onyxhawke.livejournal.com]

Either will do, a second attatchment is best.

Crisis of Nerves

[tharain.livejournal.com]

Okay. I submitted about two hours ago, and, of course, had immediate second thoughts about the entire friggin' novel. In short, I tweaked the manuscript, changing the order of the first chapters and adding minor stuff. The chapter order makes a difference as it's multiple POV, and the first couple chapters are all from different POVs.

May I resubmit, and if so, is there any special code you want in the email subject?

[onyxhawke.livejournal.com]

Oh i suppose, just put "version change" at the end of the subject line.

Sorry to scatter shot things...

[tharain.livejournal.com]

I tried to resend twice (I think), but have received no auto response, as I did the very first time. If all of 'em came through, I apologize for clogging up the mailbox.

Re: Sorry to scatter shot things...

[onyxhawke.livejournal.com]

If our initials are DH it came through each time.

Cheers,

Re: Sorry to scatter shot things...

[tharain.livejournal.com]

That would be me. And me. And me again. Thanks (and again, sorry for ueber slushing the slush). Good luck with the reading!

[wedschilde.livejournal.com]

damn i am sorry i missed it. by a few hours even. maybe next time when you're feeling masochism again :D

[onyxhawke.livejournal.com]

Piffle!

Send to the regular submission box. everything thats there now, will be gone before i do this again.

[wedschilde.livejournal.com]

ah then! i shall! i have a synopsis to write and a bit of editing to do but i shall add you to my first line of agents/editors.

What do you know about Camels?

[(Anonymous)]

Hello to all,just joined the forum and to not be ghost user with no posts will post some USELESS joke :)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Smoking in the Rain"

Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.
Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! But, what is that thing you put over your cigarette?"
The other old lady said, "It's a condom."
"A condom? Where do you get those?"
The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, "What size do you want?"
The old lady thought for a minute and said, "One that will fit a Camel."

poor,poor Camel :) :)