Things thou should know

[onyxhawke]

It occurred to me the other night while talking to someone moving into the industry that there were a few less obvious things about the industry that someone one should pass along. Given that I don't know anyone with parents that cruel, I decided to do it myself.

Things thou should know:

1) From your lips (or keyboard) to everyone's ears:

You may have been under the impression that only prayer moved that fast. You're wrong. The publishing industry gossip-net works with a speed that shames any high school gaggle of incrowders and their hangers on. Anything you say can and will be turned in half a million different directions and spun with an ease rivaled only by the spin masters in D.C. in a million more.

2) Funny, they didn't look important

That's right, they didn't. Where ever you are in professional circles, or the internet there are probably at least three people with some sort of stroke there who you don't know, don't recognize and as a rule don't want to offend. That doesn't change the fact that they are important. Most of the people I know in this industry remind me of college professors, accountants and librarians, several of them are or were in fact just those things. Of the handful with vast amounts of presence, you'll almost never see them in one place, it just works that way.

3) Fans are crazy

Yes, I love them. But ask around the con circuit, ask about Tazer Con and Sprinkler Con, or The Boskone From Hell and for some of the other war stories. Better still, go read the things Mercedes Lackey went through regarding a stalker, its right there on her website in all its many colored glory. That aside, the fans are the reason you get paid to lie to people. Fans (and pros) have long, long memories and will repeat what they experience of you for quite some time.

4) Patience isn't a virtue, it’s a necessity.

In some businesses things run about willy-nilly with events happening at a nearly glacial pace, this one isn't nearly so fast. So patience isn't a virtue, it’s a lifeline to what sanity can be claimed for anyone who makes up entire worlds to keep the little voices in their head distracted and then falls far enough under the sway of their hubris to believe other people will want to read their inventions.

5) Oh no they didn't!

Well, yes they did and no they didn't. They obviously don't have the wit to appreciate the quality of your pearls, and the probably did say or do something about if that makes no sense to you. Take note Sherlock, you're now in their shoes.

6) The Bigger they are titled

The less you can figure out from the title. Take royalties for instance, really, it won't take much room. The more grand the name of something in the industry, the less sense it may make. Is that Executive Production Assistant Editor the one doing the work and the one with the stroke or are they the glorified coffee toter, who knows, see numbers one and two.

7) Musical Chairs is a way of life

When you were seven musical chairs was a game you played at birthday parties, and any other time your parents wanted to wear you down in a controllable fashion, you probably aren't seven any more. Do you remember that editor you met who worked at publisher #2 six months ago? Well by now, they may be an agent, an editor at another house, a full time writer, or they might have gone on to do something at loosely connected to the degree they spent years laboring to get. But don't worry, they could be back.

8) The SMOF's rule the (fan) world

Secret Masters Of Fantasy is not (usually) an insult, it too is a way of life, there's even a convention for them. These are the people who either do have as much stroke as a peeved editor or think they do, you probably can't tell which group they are in. Assume they do have the stroke to damage your career. Just because you meet them running a con in San Diego, doesn't mean they aren't engaged so someone who runs cons in Philly, see numbers one, two and seven.

9) There are no new spins

If you have produced something publishable, you probably haven't created something original, or innovative, or heaven help us all never been done before!. You've hopefully managed a way of executing a story it that is entertaining, and well done. That's it, deal with it. As soon as you say of those things or there equivalents you lose credibility faster than a toddler with crumbs on their lips who claims not to have eaten the missing cookie.