What's in a name?

[onyxhawke]

I'm always amazed by the weird things that people name their children. While people across the country have plunged deep into the well of weird and decided to call their children things like “Lexus” or Nicolas Cage naming his son “Kal El”, or Cher and Sonny naming their dear daughter “Chastity”, i can sorta forgive all of those. I mean seriously, they all exude the a quality or status that is in the right time and place admirable. That said, until very recently i thought celebrities had the worst naming habits. Seriously, with Demi Moore and Bruce Willis who otherwise appear to have a clue naming their children; Rumer Glenn, Tallulah Belle and Scout LaRue and Frank Zappa bestowing the positively abusive names Moon Unit, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan, Dweezil, and Diva on his brood it makes George Foreman giving all his sons the same name seem positively tame. Not to be out done Paula Yates entered the rings swinging and corked her bat with these lovely names; Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily, Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, and Pixie.

But alas, I am wrong. It seems the cruelest group of namers alive are the people who bring writers into the world. Really, how else do explain the never ending string of people who clearly read the submission guidelines on my website and then enter their names as “From Website” in the subject line?