I am delighted to announce that I have picked your agency to represent my definitive opus on the human condition.
Tired of finding on the bookstore shelves only such sops to the plebeian taste of the masses as Harry Potter or Stephen King or their ilk, I decided it was time for a real mind to engage in a literary endeavor, to improve the discourse of our times and set the tone of written expression for the twenty first century. I have refused to read any other books for the last thirty years, in order that my expression and taste shall remain untainted by lesser ones.
My novel, about a Medieval French Literature Professor in a small – but prestigious – college in the East, grapples with such issues as the relevance of literary deconstructionist theory to a woman refined in the sublime crucible of her pause of menses. It also deals with more mundane details of the human existence such as the soul wrenching results of a glass of red wine on a white carpet, the nerve-denuding noise of an out of tune vehicle and the cruel vindictiveness of cross-country phone service.
From these influences my exquisitely sensitive character arrives at an exegesis that is nothing less than a refinement of heart shattering hermeneutics and which relates, in a single searing sentence the lost glories of the poetry of Langue Doc and the sensibilities of Superman Comics.
It is written in the past tense except for those parts that are in the present for the sake of preserving dramatic tension, and it mostly makes use of the second person plural and the adjective "pertinent."
I am sure I need say no more, for doubtless you can already perceive the culture – nay, epoch – making quality of such a work.
I am attaching the volume, which consists of eighty pages, handwritten – to reflect the craftswoman like nature of this artistic masterpiece.
Looking forward to your reply,
Doctor Reverend Ms. W. Arum Nicht
Phd in Chaos Theory as Applied to the Clotting of Custard, Bilge College 1967, Phd Line Fishing with Special concentration in Small Mouthed Bass, Cutbait college 1968, Phd Divinity and other Desserts, Cull E. Nary College 1969, Phd Women’s Studies, College of L. Ow Held M. Irror 1970, Phd in Clockwork Orange Mechanics Lemon College, 1971
PS - It should be understood I deposit the highest confidence in your honesty and probity and also that any attempt to violate my copyright shall be prosecuted to the full extent of the law and the imagination of my attorneys.
I've chosen YOU!
I am delighted to announce that I have picked your agency to represent my definitive opus on the human condition.
Tired of finding on the bookstore shelves only such sops to the plebeian taste of the masses as Harry Potter or Stephen King or their ilk, I decided it was time for a real mind to engage in a literary endeavor, to improve the discourse of our times and set the tone of written expression for the twenty first century. I have refused to read any other books for the last thirty years, in order that my expression and taste shall remain untainted by lesser ones.
My novel, about a Medieval French Literature Professor in a small – but prestigious – college in the East, grapples with such issues as the relevance of literary deconstructionist theory to a woman refined in the sublime crucible of her pause of menses. It also deals with more mundane details of the human existence such as the soul wrenching results of a glass of red wine on a white carpet, the nerve-denuding noise of an out of tune vehicle and the cruel vindictiveness of cross-country phone service.
From these influences my exquisitely sensitive character arrives at an exegesis that is nothing less than a refinement of heart shattering hermeneutics and which relates, in a single searing sentence the lost glories of the poetry of Langue Doc and the sensibilities of Superman Comics.
It is written in the past tense except for those parts that are in the present for the sake of preserving dramatic tension, and it mostly makes use of the second person plural and the adjective "pertinent."
I am sure I need say no more, for doubtless you can already perceive the culture – nay, epoch – making quality of such a work.
I am attaching the volume, which consists of eighty pages, handwritten – to reflect the craftswoman like nature of this artistic masterpiece.
Looking forward to your reply,
Doctor Reverend Ms. W. Arum Nicht
Phd in Chaos Theory as Applied to the Clotting of Custard, Bilge College 1967, Phd Line Fishing with Special concentration in Small Mouthed Bass, Cutbait college 1968, Phd Divinity and other Desserts, Cull E. Nary College 1969, Phd Women’s Studies, College of L. Ow Held M. Irror 1970, Phd in Clockwork Orange Mechanics Lemon College, 1971
PS - It should be understood I deposit the highest confidence in your honesty and probity and also that any attempt to violate my copyright shall be prosecuted to the full extent of the law and the imagination of my attorneys.